Whoops, I forgot I had this blog! Time flies when you're back in Korea and preparing for graduation. What?! Graduation?! Yes, I intend to graduate in just a mere few weeks, believe it or not.
I should be using my time to write a piece for my creative writing class, but instead, here I am. I have no motivation or desire whatsoever to come up with some brilliant 5+ page fictitious story for a critique - surprise! I only enjoy reading fiction, not writing it - the things you learn in college. And in lieu of that looming graduation date, combined with my good mood and desire to distract myself from schoolwork (I've been in class since this morning, give me a break), I want to write a little something dedicated to all you young adults out there.
I want to give you real advice, from a fellow young person, that doesn't end with "don't worry, you'll figure it out!"
One thing that I was never really told when entering college is that I would be a completely different person going in than I would be coming out. That is to say, while I retained my general interests and love of of Montreal, and while I still could not give two shits about statistics, I'm just different (in a good way, I think!). Our society tends to value people on their levels of outgoing-ness, which is really shitty for those of us who are introverts and just need some time to be away from people. But I approached being introverted in the wrong way initially. In my freshman year, I was a recluse - I tried to "get involved," like the tell you to your first year, but student clubs just weren't my scene. I used to sit alone in my dorm room pining over how sad I was, but this depressive state didn't really come from "not having any friends" or whatever - it came from my general outlook on life. My natural pessimism caused me to expect the worst out of people and therefore, I would shy away from any real human interaction. While it was totally fine that I would spend some Friday nights marathoning Parks and Recreation, it was not okay for me to refuse to respond to cashiers' friendly attempts at small talk or to neglect resources I had right in front of me like inspiring professors or even my own family members.
However, gradually, I saw myself changing. The first step was to get my anxiety under control, and once I learned how to relax, how to focus on what was important and know that things would always get better, I began to be okay. So that's my first piece of advice - if you are experiencing any indication of depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc., talk to someone, get help, do things for yourself that make you happy and know that it's not only okay to feel that way, but also know that mental illness - even if it's not a full-blown, "real" illness, even if it's just a bad day - does not define you.
Studying abroad (the key here is that I studied abroad twice, for four months at a time - I think the time/frequency is really dependent on how much you need or want to change) is the best thing I ever did in college. Not just because it was fun and cool and exciting, but because it forced me to learn how to be more independent, and learn quickly how to be a person other people wanted to be around. Yep, you guessed it: if given any opportunity, and as long as it's even remotely financially possible, study abroad. Yeah, you get an international perspective and learn to respect other cultures and have experiences you could have never dreamed of having back home, but you also learn how to form lasting bonds with people immediately, how some people just click and become life-long friends, how to not hold back. Unless you refuse to let your experience effect you, studying abroad will have a hugely positive impact on your life.
Point of advice number 3: Have a good balance between school and your social life. I am notorious for putting a lot more effort into school, especially in the beginning, but it's good to know how much effort you really need to put in, and how much is too much. College is hard. College is overwhelming. And sometimes you just need to chill out, put that research paper out of your mind, and have some friends over to drink lots of beer and make the best homemade queso dip you've ever eaten. I don't want to toot my own horn here, but the same year I got straight A's two semesters in a row, I was living with two of my closest friends and getting drunk almost every weekend. I don't condone over-consumption of alcohol or putting yourself in danger, of course, but find something - anything - that will give you a break from academia and allow you to create some great, fun memories during your years of being young and irresponsible.
I still have no idea what I'm going to "do with my life," and I'm learning to stop worrying about it. I know that some people don't have the privilege I do - of being able to take a year off, of aspiring to go to grad school, of not needing to join the workforce immediately out of college - but I hope that everyone can end up doing something they really enjoy in life, and I hope that everyone can get the most out of their college career. I do have regrets - it seems, in retrospect, that I wasted a hell of a lot of time not having the same outlook on life that I do now (of course I still have insecurities, but they're pretty minute in comparison) - but I could have never gotten to the place I am now without going through the depression, the confusion, the getting all my electronics stolen from my apartment. Use your time in college as a learning experience - academically, socially, and for life in general. Know that whatever you do in and right after college isn't what you'll be doing forever necessarily, and know that you will probably be a different person in just a few years - people are constantly changing because of actions they take and experiences they have, and there's no real reason to dwell on mistakes and anxieties because everything passes. And that's the great thing about life, isn't it? We never know where it will take us.
So, fellow young people, life in university is what you make it - learn to change, to love yourself, to have genuine interest in other people, and know that the unknown - the mights and might-nots - is what really makes things exciting.
Very proud of you :)
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